Intimate Partner Violence

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) refers to abuse (sexual, physical, psychological/emotional, or verbal) within a close relationship. This may be between dating partners, domestic partners, spouses or former spouses. Often times, IPV begins with emotional/psychological or verbal abuse and escalates to physical or sexual assault.

The CDC reports that women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes each year. Men are the victims of about 2.9 million intimate partner related physical assaults.

IPV Can Be Prevented!

It’s important for people to understand what is involved in a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships include expressing yourself honestly, communicating openly, agreeing to disagree at times and ultimately respecting one another. Unhealthy relationships may include threats, intimidation, name-calling, stalking, jealousy, controlling behavior or criticism.

If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, seek help! Talk to a trusted friend, counselor, or healthcare provider. There are many community resources available.

In Delaware, contact:

Kent/Sussex Domestic Violence Hotline 302-422-8058
New Castle County Domestic Violence Hotline 302-762-6110
Rape Crisis CONTACT Services 1-800-262-9800

Source: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention – Understanding Intimate Partner Violence


Can Sexual Consent be Sexy Consent?

Sexual contact can quickly turn into sexual assault if permission is not given for the act of sexual intercourse.

What is Consent?

Consent is a verbal “yes” to sexual intercourse, free from intimidation, threats, coercion, force or intoxication. Silence from a partner does not give consent. Body language does not give consent. Dressing or acting a certain way does not give consent.

In order to protect yourself and your partner, it’s important to ask permission before proceeding.

Consent can be fun and sexy. Asking permission for sexual contact is seen by many people as romantic and chivalrous. And it protects both people from being assaulted or unintentionally assaulting someone. Remember that sexual assault is a crime, punishable by a jail sentence.

How do I ask without ruining the mood?

Keep in mind that tone of voice and environment can really set the stage to making permission-seeking sexy and romantic.

Sexy and Seductive Phrases

“I’d like to make love to you, if that’s okay…”

“May I kiss you?”

“You’re beautiful! Can I undress you?”

“I’d love to do _______ with you.”

“Do you like this?”

Game-playing

Lead your partner in a game of Sexual Simon Says or Mother May I.

Your partner asks for only specific sexual acts that s/he is interested in doing. For example “stroke my arm softly” OR “lightly nibble my ear” OR “unbutton my jeans” Allow your partner to have complete control of what is happening.

Then switch roles. This allows partners to be sexually satisfied while making sure consent is given and communication is encouraged.

The most important thing to remember about using phrases or games is to leave room for your partner’s decision on whether or not to proceed. “No” means “no” and silence doesn’t mean “yes”. Respect your partner by honoring his/her wishes about sexual contact.