Getting to Know Your Vulva

Ladies, do you know how your vulva is like a snowflake? That’s because no two vulvas are exactly alike. Despite what you might see in movies or pictures, or even the diagrams in sexuality education books, each woman has her own, unique set of lady-parts.

What exactly is the vulva anyway? The vulva consists of all the female, external genitalia: The mons, outer labia, clitoris, inner labia and the opening to the vagina. Although not much is visible when a woman is standing up with her legs together, for health and other reasons it’s important that we are familiar with every inch of our bodies.

Why is it important to look at your vulva? Vulvas on television or in movies or books all tend to look very similar, which is simply not the case in real life. It is important to know what is normal for your vulva so that if anything changes, you are aware of it and can see a doctor if necessary (in the case of an STI or certain cancers for example.) Also, knowing more about what your vulva looks like can help make sexual activity and masturbation more pleasurable because you will have a keener sense of where everything is “down there.” How can you expect your partner to find your clitoris if you aren’t sure where it is or what it looks like?

In order to see your vulva, you will need to do the following:

• Sit on the floor (or on your bed if it is more comfortable) with your legs apart and your knees bent. What can you see from this angle? The mons pubis? The outer labia? The inner labia? The clitoris? Gently spread apart the outer labia to get a better look. For some women, holding a mirror in front of the vulva and angling the mirror so the vulva can be seen works best. What do you notice about your vulva? Take note of its color (and where the color may change), the size and shape of the inner and outer lips (labia), where there is hair, the size and shape of the clitoris (is it visible or hidden under the clitoral hood?) if there are any birthmarks or anything else that makes your vulva unique.
  

It is also important to remember that vulvas in pornography or even in sexuality educational material may all look a certain way because of social norms, not because they are the way that vulvas “should” look. There are many great sources of “real” vulvas both in drawings and in photographs.

For more information about the veritable blizzard of vulva types check out these drawings by vulva-guru Betty Dodson!

For more information about the vulva check this out!

For information about getting your yearly pelvic exam (which is another important part of knowing your vulva!) go here!

Did you know that SETI offers classes on sexting?

Parents and providers can attend a FREE upcoming sex & technology workshop with Planned Parenthood of Delaware! Click here for SETI’s Winter Workshop Series for more information.

Sexting and Cyberbullying

Facebook me. Tweet me. Text me. Most teens and young adults would admit that they've already checked their Facebook, tweeted or possibly even texted a friend or two before they've gotten out of bed. While these advances in communication can bring us closer and enhance our relationships, there are some aspects of technology that can be dangerous-- like sexting and cyberbullying. These terms are only a few years old but have become so commonplace that they were recently added to the Oxford English Dictionary!

Sexting is defined as sending nude or semi-nude photographs or sexually explicit messages to another person. For some, these messages can give partners a new way to express their feelings or provide the opportunity to talk about something they wouldn’t usually say in person. However, it is against the law to create or send sexual images of anyone under age 18, even if you are sending pictures of yourself. Another thing to remember is that once you've sent a text or posted a picture, it can never completely be removed. Think about the consequences of sending messages. For example, you might be in a relationship now, but what happens if you break up or a get in a fight? The minute the picture leaves your phone it’s out of your control. According to MTV's A Thin Line project, "nearly 1 in 5 sext recipients have passed the sext along to someone else." Ask yourself, how would you feel when your private message becomes public gossip?

If you are being prompted to sext and are over age 18, the best thing to do is cut the conversation off, wait until you’re alone with that person and set some boundaries about what is appropriate for you. If you are under age 18, don’t sext. It is illegal and you could face serious consequences.

Pictures that young people sext can also be used to cyberbully someone. Cyberbullying happens when children or teens use the Internet to harass, intimidate and/or frighten their peers, former bullies, or other minors in their lives. Many teens do not believe that when they send cruel messages or spread lies about their peers online that they are engaging in harmful cyberbullying. These instances can range from an annoying classmate who occasionally messages you unpleasant remarks to very serious harassment that has led to physical violence and in some cases teen suicides. Think before you message others about how you would feel if those words were being directed at you, or one of your close friends. Above all, if someone is threatening, scaring or otherwise bothering you over the Internet the best thing to do is stop talking to them and tell a trusted adult.

Facebook and Twitter

Even if you're not sexting, social media outlets such as Facebook and Twitter can place you in some dicey situations. We've all taken pictures that weren't so flattering. Now those moments we wish we could forget might follow us online forever. Technology makes it easier every day to upload a picture or video to the Internet, or post a nasty comment about a friend or enemy--there's even a cell phone out with a button that immediately sends your photos or videos directly to Facebook! We might not think much about our status updates, tweets, or mobile uploads now, but they might be damaging in the future. Imagine how embarrassing and devastating it could be if a college admissions person or potential employer saw an inappropriate picture/comment on your profile and that was their first impression of you; it could jeopardize your chances for gaining admission to that school or getting your dream job. Whether it impacts you or someone else, what you do on the Internet matters—maybe for a long, long time.

So before you text it, tweet it, or Facebook it, ask yourself these questions:

• How would others react to what I’m doing?
• Could these words/photos hurt me or someone else in the long run?
• If it's a private message, how would I feel if it goes public?

…and for more information about sexting and cyber bullying, check out these links:

http://www.athinline.org/facts/sexting
http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/sextech/
http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html