Intimate Partner Violence

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) refers to abuse (sexual, physical, psychological/emotional, or verbal) within a close relationship. This may be between dating partners, domestic partners, spouses or former spouses. Often times, IPV begins with emotional/psychological or verbal abuse and escalates to physical or sexual assault.

The CDC reports that women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes each year. Men are the victims of about 2.9 million intimate partner related physical assaults.

IPV Can Be Prevented!

It’s important for people to understand what is involved in a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships include expressing yourself honestly, communicating openly, agreeing to disagree at times and ultimately respecting one another. Unhealthy relationships may include threats, intimidation, name-calling, stalking, jealousy, controlling behavior or criticism.

If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, seek help! Talk to a trusted friend, counselor, or healthcare provider. There are many community resources available.

In Delaware, contact:

Kent/Sussex Domestic Violence Hotline 302-422-8058
New Castle County Domestic Violence Hotline 302-762-6110
Rape Crisis CONTACT Services 1-800-262-9800

Source: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention – Understanding Intimate Partner Violence


Can Sexual Consent be Sexy Consent?

Sexual contact can quickly turn into sexual assault if permission is not given for the act of sexual intercourse.

What is Consent?

Consent is a verbal “yes” to sexual intercourse, free from intimidation, threats, coercion, force or intoxication. Silence from a partner does not give consent. Body language does not give consent. Dressing or acting a certain way does not give consent.

In order to protect yourself and your partner, it’s important to ask permission before proceeding.

Consent can be fun and sexy. Asking permission for sexual contact is seen by many people as romantic and chivalrous. And it protects both people from being assaulted or unintentionally assaulting someone. Remember that sexual assault is a crime, punishable by a jail sentence.

How do I ask without ruining the mood?

Keep in mind that tone of voice and environment can really set the stage to making permission-seeking sexy and romantic.

Sexy and Seductive Phrases

“I’d like to make love to you, if that’s okay…”

“May I kiss you?”

“You’re beautiful! Can I undress you?”

“I’d love to do _______ with you.”

“Do you like this?”

Game-playing

Lead your partner in a game of Sexual Simon Says or Mother May I.

Your partner asks for only specific sexual acts that s/he is interested in doing. For example “stroke my arm softly” OR “lightly nibble my ear” OR “unbutton my jeans” Allow your partner to have complete control of what is happening.

Then switch roles. This allows partners to be sexually satisfied while making sure consent is given and communication is encouraged.

The most important thing to remember about using phrases or games is to leave room for your partner’s decision on whether or not to proceed. “No” means “no” and silence doesn’t mean “yes”. Respect your partner by honoring his/her wishes about sexual contact.

Get Yourself Tested for FREE!

Get Yourself Tested ‘09 – GYT09 – is a month long campaign to support April’s National STD Awareness Month. Planned Parenthood affiliates nationwide are working together with MTV, the CDC & the Kaiser Family Foundation to encourage young people to get tested for HIV and other STDs for FREE during the month of April as part of the GYT09 campaign.

FREE HIV and STD testing is available at Planned Parenthood of Delaware with this coupon.

Remember that many STDs have no symptoms so it’s important to take responsibility for your sexual & reproductive health by getting tested, even if you show no signs of an infection. Take this opportunity during the month of April to get tested for FREE!!! Visit us at any of our five locations statewide!

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Did You Know?

1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.

Every 2 minutes someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.

These astounding statistics are part of the reason for the month long campaign to increase awareness about sexual violence. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and in support, we will be posting statistics and information about sexual assault, intimate partner violence, and prevention for the next couple of weeks. First off, let’s define some terms:

Sexual assault: unwanted sexual contact (this may include a variety of sexual behaviors – from sexual harassment to rape or incest)

Rape: forced sexual intercourse including oral, anal, or vaginal penetration

Incest: sexual activity between family members

Please keep in mind that each state may define these terms a bit differently, but they are all against the law.

How can we prevent sexual assault from happening?

Most people aren’t aware that the majority of sexual assault victims know their assailant. This is often termed date rape or acquaintance rape. Even though there are preventative measures which can reduce the number of sexual assaults which occur every year, there is no 100% effective method of stopping a sexual assault.

Some ways to reduce your risk of sexual assault are to:
• Avoid alcohol and drugs
• Stay in pairs or groups when going out – never leave a friend alone
• Communicate your intentions clearly
• Trust your intuition
• Be aware of unsafe situations

And remember that sexual assault is NEVER the fault of the survivor. The fault always lies with the assailant…no matter what!

If you have been sexually assaulted, or need further information please call ContactLifeline at 1-800-262-9800.

Source: Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network

Spring Has Arrived!

Spring has arrived... and now is a great time to have a little fun in the sun, while maintaining a healthy lifestyle!

Remember though, as the sun is peeking out more often now, your skin will probably need a bit more protection than in winter months. Below are a few skincare recommendations by the Centers for Disease Control:

• Use a broad-spectrum (UVA/UVB protection) sunscreen with an SPF of at least 15 when outside for long periods of time


• Try to apply sunscreen about 30 minutes before going outside


• Wear a hat or other clothing to cover exposed areas of the body


• Make sure to reapply sunscreen throughout the day

Also, as the weather heats up, remember to drink water consistently throughout the day. Take water with you wherever you go and be “greener” by opting for a reusable container such as aluminum or glass.

Spring is a great time to start getting physically active again. With Daylight’s Savings and the warmer weather, there is more time to enjoy a nice walk or jog outside. Try doing something active every day and you may be surprised at how quickly the winter pounds come off.

In thinking about physical health, don’t forget to consider nutrition. Right now you can find the following produce in season and cheaper at your local grocery store:

Mushrooms
Greens
Turnips
Asparagus
Spinach

…and watch for delicious strawberries and blueberries in June!

If you are interested in nutritional counseling, we offer it FREE here at Planned Parenthood of Delaware as part of our Healthy Woman Program. Just call 1-302-655-7296 x17 for more information.

In the meantime, have a healthy and enjoyable spring!

Safety for Saint Patty’s Day!

St. Patrick’s Day is March 17 and if you choose to celebrate this holiday with some friends at the bar, below are a few alcohol safety tips:

1. Set a designated driver and stick to it – or, if possible, walk to your destination and/or take a cab.
2. Watch your drink – I don’t mean stare at it. Just make sure to keep it with you at all times because date rape drugs can be quickly and easily slipped into an unattended glass. (btw – you can even take your drink to the bathroom)
3. Stay in pairs or groups – don’t leave a friend alone, especially while intoxicated
4. Don’t pressure friends to drink more than is safe, and don’t feel pressured to do the same – alcohol poisoning is a serious and often deadly consequence of drinking too much, too quickly

Keep in mind that a standard drink is considered:

12 oz of beer
5 oz of wine
1.5 oz of hard liquor (80 proof)

…and the average adult’s liver can metabolize, or break down, one drink per hour


Planned Parenthood wishes you a safe and enjoyable St. Patrick’s Day, whether or not you choose to celebrate it at the bar! Happy St. Patty’s!!


Source: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism of the National Institutes of Health

SEXting?!

If you haven’t already heard about the controversy surrounding sexting, you will soon enough. While sexting isn’t a completely new phenomenon, it is making headlines because of its gain in popularity amongst teens. For those of you out of the technology loop, sexting is the sending of sexually suggestive messages or nude/semi-nude photos to other people via texts, IM, emails, etc.

Problems are arising from the sharing of those photos with other people, and in some cases have resulted in felony charges brought against the teens involved. Read this article on six Pennsylvania teens who got into serious trouble from sexting.

If you are someone who enjoys the use of technology, here are a few pointers to keep you safer in cyberspace:

• Assume the text, image, or message will be seen by others – Do you really want that message or image out there?
• Once in Cyberspace, always in Cyberspace – After pressing the send button, there’s no turning back…
• Consider your audience - How will the recipient feel about it? Do you think you’ll always feel the same way about him/her? What if he/she shares it with others?
• Nothing is truly anonymous – Tracking user names and personal information, no matter how basic, has become much easier.


Source: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy

Havin’ The Sex Talk

March is National Talk to Your Teen about Sex Month and in celebration we challenge you to take the plunge and sit down with your teen (or teens take the initiative and sit down with your parents) to discuss the importance of healthy sexuality.

Here are some pointers that may make “the talk” a little less intimidating:

• Start early! Children start to receive sexual messages as soon as they’re born. The earlier you begin, the easier it becomes until there is an open, honest dialogue about sex. And don’t worry if you haven’t started the conversation yet: It’s never too late!
• It’s OK to be uncomfortable with the subject matter…many people feel that way. Don’t be afraid to admit to your teen that the subject may be a little difficult for you to discuss, but that you’re going to do your best.
• Be open and available when your teen wants to talk. Sometimes it’s hard to get someone to open up and feel comfortable talking, especially when it comes to sexual subject matter. Initiate dialogue when possible and remember to be persistent, not pushy and understanding, not critical.
• Reassure your teen that his/her sexuality and feelings are normal.
• Foster an environment of mutual respect.

Parents may also want to consider asking the following questions:

1. Do you know how to protect yourself against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections?
2. What pressures are you feeling and how are you handling those pressures?
3. How are your social relationships?
4. What are your worries or fears?
5. What information about sex do you hear at school or from your peers?

Remember that parents have the opportunity to be the best source of sexual health information for their teens. We hope that you’ll take this challenge to celebrate National Talk to Your Teen about Sex Month by opening up the lines of communication about healthy sexuality.