Getting to Know Your Vulva

Ladies, do you know how your vulva is like a snowflake? That’s because no two vulvas are exactly alike. Despite what you might see in movies or pictures, or even the diagrams in sexuality education books, each woman has her own, unique set of lady-parts.

What exactly is the vulva anyway? The vulva consists of all the female, external genitalia: The mons, outer labia, clitoris, inner labia and the opening to the vagina. Although not much is visible when a woman is standing up with her legs together, for health and other reasons it’s important that we are familiar with every inch of our bodies.

Why is it important to look at your vulva? Vulvas on television or in movies or books all tend to look very similar, which is simply not the case in real life. It is important to know what is normal for your vulva so that if anything changes, you are aware of it and can see a doctor if necessary (in the case of an STI or certain cancers for example.) Also, knowing more about what your vulva looks like can help make sexual activity and masturbation more pleasurable because you will have a keener sense of where everything is “down there.” How can you expect your partner to find your clitoris if you aren’t sure where it is or what it looks like?

In order to see your vulva, you will need to do the following:

• Sit on the floor (or on your bed if it is more comfortable) with your legs apart and your knees bent. What can you see from this angle? The mons pubis? The outer labia? The inner labia? The clitoris? Gently spread apart the outer labia to get a better look. For some women, holding a mirror in front of the vulva and angling the mirror so the vulva can be seen works best. What do you notice about your vulva? Take note of its color (and where the color may change), the size and shape of the inner and outer lips (labia), where there is hair, the size and shape of the clitoris (is it visible or hidden under the clitoral hood?) if there are any birthmarks or anything else that makes your vulva unique.
  

It is also important to remember that vulvas in pornography or even in sexuality educational material may all look a certain way because of social norms, not because they are the way that vulvas “should” look. There are many great sources of “real” vulvas both in drawings and in photographs.

For more information about the veritable blizzard of vulva types check out these drawings by vulva-guru Betty Dodson!

For more information about the vulva check this out!

For information about getting your yearly pelvic exam (which is another important part of knowing your vulva!) go here!

Did you know that SETI offers classes on sexting?

Parents and providers can attend a FREE upcoming sex & technology workshop with Planned Parenthood of Delaware! Click here for SETI’s Winter Workshop Series for more information.

Sexting and Cyberbullying

Facebook me. Tweet me. Text me. Most teens and young adults would admit that they've already checked their Facebook, tweeted or possibly even texted a friend or two before they've gotten out of bed. While these advances in communication can bring us closer and enhance our relationships, there are some aspects of technology that can be dangerous-- like sexting and cyberbullying. These terms are only a few years old but have become so commonplace that they were recently added to the Oxford English Dictionary!

Sexting is defined as sending nude or semi-nude photographs or sexually explicit messages to another person. For some, these messages can give partners a new way to express their feelings or provide the opportunity to talk about something they wouldn’t usually say in person. However, it is against the law to create or send sexual images of anyone under age 18, even if you are sending pictures of yourself. Another thing to remember is that once you've sent a text or posted a picture, it can never completely be removed. Think about the consequences of sending messages. For example, you might be in a relationship now, but what happens if you break up or a get in a fight? The minute the picture leaves your phone it’s out of your control. According to MTV's A Thin Line project, "nearly 1 in 5 sext recipients have passed the sext along to someone else." Ask yourself, how would you feel when your private message becomes public gossip?

If you are being prompted to sext and are over age 18, the best thing to do is cut the conversation off, wait until you’re alone with that person and set some boundaries about what is appropriate for you. If you are under age 18, don’t sext. It is illegal and you could face serious consequences.

Pictures that young people sext can also be used to cyberbully someone. Cyberbullying happens when children or teens use the Internet to harass, intimidate and/or frighten their peers, former bullies, or other minors in their lives. Many teens do not believe that when they send cruel messages or spread lies about their peers online that they are engaging in harmful cyberbullying. These instances can range from an annoying classmate who occasionally messages you unpleasant remarks to very serious harassment that has led to physical violence and in some cases teen suicides. Think before you message others about how you would feel if those words were being directed at you, or one of your close friends. Above all, if someone is threatening, scaring or otherwise bothering you over the Internet the best thing to do is stop talking to them and tell a trusted adult.

Facebook and Twitter

Even if you're not sexting, social media outlets such as Facebook and Twitter can place you in some dicey situations. We've all taken pictures that weren't so flattering. Now those moments we wish we could forget might follow us online forever. Technology makes it easier every day to upload a picture or video to the Internet, or post a nasty comment about a friend or enemy--there's even a cell phone out with a button that immediately sends your photos or videos directly to Facebook! We might not think much about our status updates, tweets, or mobile uploads now, but they might be damaging in the future. Imagine how embarrassing and devastating it could be if a college admissions person or potential employer saw an inappropriate picture/comment on your profile and that was their first impression of you; it could jeopardize your chances for gaining admission to that school or getting your dream job. Whether it impacts you or someone else, what you do on the Internet matters—maybe for a long, long time.

So before you text it, tweet it, or Facebook it, ask yourself these questions:

• How would others react to what I’m doing?
• Could these words/photos hurt me or someone else in the long run?
• If it's a private message, how would I feel if it goes public?

…and for more information about sexting and cyber bullying, check out these links:

http://www.athinline.org/facts/sexting
http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/sextech/
http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html

It Takes Two

The focus on birth control and pregnancy prevention seems to be placed heavily on women because they are the people that actually become pregnant. In reality, however, it takes two to get to that point. Men play a large role in decision making about pregnancy prevention measures, however, they sometimes get forgotten. Here are some ways men can take an active role in pregnancy prevention:

• COMMUNICATE! Communication is key in any relationship, but when was the last time you talked about birth control? Is the method you are currently using working for you? Have you ever tried other methods? Determine your risk (for what? STI? Pregnancy?) and then investigate all the different methods out there that meet your needs. Sometimes adjusting your method of birth control is all you need (and can be a lot of fun)
• WHO IS BUYING? Do you split the cost? (Planned Parenthood of Delaware provides low and no cost birth control options.) Is it a certain partner’s responsibility to purchase the birth control? These are things you and your partner should determine early on in the relationship.
• DETERMINE YOUR ROLE. What if your partner did get pregnant? Would you be a part of the decision making on what to do? Would you consider adoption? Would you be supportive if your partner decided to carry to term or terminate the pregnancy? Things to consider: From a legal perspective, the ultimate decision about the pregnancy is the woman’s, she cannot be forced to either carry to term or terminate the pregnancy.
  

So have the conversation with your partner. Now. Remember, there are consequences for both parties, and thus both should be involved in making those healthy decisions.
Planned Parenthood of Delaware offers a variety of services for men, including:

• Sexual and reproductive health check ups- Free condoms
• STD screening and testing, including a rapid HIV test
• HPV vaccine

To find out more about men’s sexual health and how to become more involved in pregnancy prevention check out Planned Parenthood’s website at http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/men-4285.htm

Celebrate Let’s Talk Month!

October is Let’s Talk Month! Every year, sex educators and advocates use this month to encourage and empower parents to become more confident sex educators of their children and teens.

We at Planned Parenthood of Delaware recognize that parents are the primary sex educators of their children and although sometimes it is uncomfortable or embarrassing to talk about sex, it is essential for the emotional and physical well-being of young people. This month gives us a great opportunity to start the conversation about sex right now! We are here to help parents and providers become more comfortable and confident in their role as sex educators.

To celebrate Let’s Talk Month, the Sexuality Education Training Institute (SETI) of Planned Parenthood of Delaware is excited to offer a free workshop entitled, “Let’s Talk! Discussing sexuality with your child: What to say and when to say it” to parents, educators, and youth service providers.

This interactive workshop includes such topics as effective parent-child communication, how to answer sex questions, sexual development from cradle to college, as well as facts and stats about Delaware teen sexual health today. Please see below for more information:

Cost: FREE
Date: October 26, 2011
Time: 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.
Location: 140 E Delaware Avenue, Newark, DE 19711

A light dinner will be provided and spaces are limited. To register please email edudept@ppde.org or call (302) 224-8099 ext. 1

Picture this...

You and your boyfriend are having sex and the condom breaks.

That kind of thing never happens but somehow it did last night. You don’t want to get pregnant (that's the whole point of birth control, right?) but a pit of dread fills your stomach. What can you do? Luckily there’s an option for these type of situations! It’s called emergency contraception. Here’s what you need to know…

• Emergency contraception (EC) is contraception that you can take to prevent pregnancy. EC is effective 3-5 days after unprotected sex, though it is best to take EC as soon as you can.
• There are a few different brands of EC. Planned Parenthood of Delaware offers Plan-B One Step and Next Choice.
• In the United States, any man or woman age 17 and older can get EC without a prescription. Women under the age of 17 will need to visit a health center and get a prescription. In both cases, you can get EC at Planned Parenthood.
• Some people may think that the morning-after pill is the same as the abortion pill. It is important to know that the morning-after pill is not an abortion pill. EC will prevent a pregnancy, but it will not end a pregnancy. If you are already pregnant when you take EC, it will not stop the pregnancy.
• EC is available at all Planned Parenthood of Delaware health center locations in Wilmington, Newark and Dover.
• EC does not protect against STIs, including HIV.
  

So when unprotected sex happens, you still have options! For more information on emergency contraception, talk to your health care provider, call Planned Parenthood, or visit these sites:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/emergency-contraception-morning-after-pill-4363.asp

http://ec.princeton.edu/questions/index.html

PPDE's VP of ED at SF Pride!

This year, I had the amazing opportunity to walk in the San Francisco Pride Parade in northern California as well as represent Planned Parenthood of Delaware at the Delaware LGBT Pride Festival in Rehoboth. Both experiences were deeply moving. It’s amazing how much love and acceptance one can feel when you are truly in a safe space. It’s even more powerful when each and every one of us is encouraged to celebrate the unique qualities of our fellow human beings. From coast-to-coast, it’s evident that more than ever we need to continue to fight for rights of all LGBTs to experience a life free of discrimination and bullying.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual (LGBT) people need a place where they can feel included and SAFE. Safe spaces are especially important for LGBT youth because of the bullying and harassment that commonly occurs in schools and other youth-serving community organizations. In fact, a recent study found that 90% of LGBT youth have been the victims of harassment, including verbal and physical attacks. Sometimes, it can even lead to depression and suicide, which was the case for Tyler Clementi, an 18 year-old freshman at Rutgers University. Tyler took his own life after his roommate secretly taped and broadcasted him being intimate with another male student.

As important as it is to have safe spaces for LGBT youth, many schools and organizations have no regulated policies in place to protect these young men and women. On November 17, 2010, the Sexuality Education Training Institute of Planned Parenthood of Delaware addressed this issue in a workshop called “Safe Spaces for LBGT Youth: Creating an inclusive environment.” In addition to receiving training on combating discrimination and identifying risk factors for harassment and violence, participants in this professional development workshop learned strategies for becoming a visible ally to the LGBT community. Want to know more about what you can do to become an ally? Check out www.plannedparenthood.org as well as www.advocatesforyouth.org, www.hrc.org and www.pflag.org.

October is National Family Sexuality Education Month

October is National Family Sexuality Education Month, and what better way to honor it than to celebrate comprehensive sexuality education! This year, we’re celebrating the Personal Responsibility Education Program (PREP), which allows schools and educators to do just that-- provide comprehensive, medically-accurate, age-appropriate sex education!

PREP provides $55 million for states to provide evidence-based sex education on:

• Pregnancy prevention
• Abstinence
• Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) prevention
• Responsible decision-making
• Healthy relationships
  

With an estimated 750,000 unplanned teen pregnancies and 4 million new STI transmissions among teens per year, it is clear that these topics need to be addressed. Pregnancy and STIs are 100% preventable and providing youth with factual, age-appropriate information is the first step in prevention.

Numerous studies have shown that comprehensive sex education can help kids abstain from sex, increase contraceptive use, and reduce teen pregnancies. And, we know that abstinence-only messages don’t work. Planned Parenthood of Delaware, along with teens and parents everywhere, are using Sex Ed Month to applaud Congress and the Obama administration for taking the first step toward protecting the health of the nation’s youth and empowering them to make good decisions for their bodies.

Need an excuse to bring up this sometimes tough topic? Take a peek at the Planned Parenthood list of upcoming workshops for the fall!